Yesterday I was working on something when I happened to look out the window. It was pitch black dark outside. Hurriedly, I ran downstairs thinking that I was late getting dinner started. It wasn't even 4:30pm yet! Relieved, I went back upstairs, but it got me thinking about absolute darkness.
Every summer, as a child, I went to a camp up in the mountains in the middle of the woods. Most of the main trails around the camp were wide and maintained. But the trails to the cabins, especially the outer cabins, had narrow footpaths etched into the ground. I have many memories of making my way through the trees and bushes while following one of those small footpaths to my cabin away from the central area of the camp.
At night it was absolutely black. There were no street lamps or cars or houses to light the way. It never bothered me to go to the restroom building during the night. Instead, I felt at peace in those moments of walking on those old trails. I would hold my flashlight so the light was just beyond my feet, keep my head up and listen to the sounds of the night as I walked in silence. I was a farm girl (hear me roar!) and lived in a house surrounded by trees and woods. The forest was a comfortable place for me. I had been walking on old Indian trails, scrambling over logs, constructing forts with fallen branches, splashing in streams of muddy water, and camping in an old World War II army tent in the woods for as long as I could remember. Walking in those woods felt like home to me.
On the other hand, my cabin mates were typically from towns or cities. Their fears and screeches would go from being sweet to vastly annoying in one week's time. After our last event of the day, they would huddle up at the end of the wide path. With their flashlights pointing every which way, they would fearfully step foot on the narrow footpath and creep nervously towards our cabin; all eyes and ears on alert to face any danger or sound. "What's that?" they would cry in whispers, their eyes racing around, round as an owl's. Sometimes they made me lead the way, but because they shuffled along as a tightly held group they would often whine and complain "you're walking too fast!" At other times, I would simply follow them and try to be helpful. It was always a pleasure when I got the opportunity to walk by myself!
One such evening, as I was quietly walking behind the buzzing, squealing mass of cabin mates, my cabin counselor fell back and started walking with me. She commented that it didn't seem to bother me to walk with a flashlight in the dark through the woods. Then she said something that struck me as really, really wise but took me years to fully understand.
**The following is a close paraphrase of the conversation we had over 30 years ago**
First, she quoted Psalms 119: 105 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.' I had not heard that verse before. Huh. It struck me as a pretty convenient thing to say to me. Ha! Okay: flashlight & Bible: got the connection. But, then she explained that The Bible was God's Word and that if I trusted in God and followed what He said in The Bible, I would be able to walk through life like I walked through those woods. She pointed out the girls ahead of us, 'They are full of fear and need each other for comfort.' 'Well, they would do a whole lot better if they would just walk in a line and hold their own flashlight!' I added in frustration. 'Exactly!' my counselor exclaimed. 'That's how it is in our Christian walk. We need to trust in God to direct our feet down the path of life. We need to find our comfort in Him instead of relying on other people. You understand!' Actually, I really didn't.* But, it felt good to be thought of as having got her message. It was for that reason that I thought about her words every time I held my flashlight and headed out into the dark. I still do.
*At the time, I thought God's love was not for me.
In the book of Proverbs, chapter 3 and verses 5 & 6 God promises me and you that if you
Every summer, as a child, I went to a camp up in the mountains in the middle of the woods. Most of the main trails around the camp were wide and maintained. But the trails to the cabins, especially the outer cabins, had narrow footpaths etched into the ground. I have many memories of making my way through the trees and bushes while following one of those small footpaths to my cabin away from the central area of the camp.
At night it was absolutely black. There were no street lamps or cars or houses to light the way. It never bothered me to go to the restroom building during the night. Instead, I felt at peace in those moments of walking on those old trails. I would hold my flashlight so the light was just beyond my feet, keep my head up and listen to the sounds of the night as I walked in silence. I was a farm girl (hear me roar!) and lived in a house surrounded by trees and woods. The forest was a comfortable place for me. I had been walking on old Indian trails, scrambling over logs, constructing forts with fallen branches, splashing in streams of muddy water, and camping in an old World War II army tent in the woods for as long as I could remember. Walking in those woods felt like home to me.
On the other hand, my cabin mates were typically from towns or cities. Their fears and screeches would go from being sweet to vastly annoying in one week's time. After our last event of the day, they would huddle up at the end of the wide path. With their flashlights pointing every which way, they would fearfully step foot on the narrow footpath and creep nervously towards our cabin; all eyes and ears on alert to face any danger or sound. "What's that?" they would cry in whispers, their eyes racing around, round as an owl's. Sometimes they made me lead the way, but because they shuffled along as a tightly held group they would often whine and complain "you're walking too fast!" At other times, I would simply follow them and try to be helpful. It was always a pleasure when I got the opportunity to walk by myself!
One such evening, as I was quietly walking behind the buzzing, squealing mass of cabin mates, my cabin counselor fell back and started walking with me. She commented that it didn't seem to bother me to walk with a flashlight in the dark through the woods. Then she said something that struck me as really, really wise but took me years to fully understand.
**The following is a close paraphrase of the conversation we had over 30 years ago**
First, she quoted Psalms 119: 105 'Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.' I had not heard that verse before. Huh. It struck me as a pretty convenient thing to say to me. Ha! Okay: flashlight & Bible: got the connection. But, then she explained that The Bible was God's Word and that if I trusted in God and followed what He said in The Bible, I would be able to walk through life like I walked through those woods. She pointed out the girls ahead of us, 'They are full of fear and need each other for comfort.' 'Well, they would do a whole lot better if they would just walk in a line and hold their own flashlight!' I added in frustration. 'Exactly!' my counselor exclaimed. 'That's how it is in our Christian walk. We need to trust in God to direct our feet down the path of life. We need to find our comfort in Him instead of relying on other people. You understand!' Actually, I really didn't.* But, it felt good to be thought of as having got her message. It was for that reason that I thought about her words every time I held my flashlight and headed out into the dark. I still do.
*At the time, I thought God's love was not for me.
In the book of Proverbs, chapter 3 and verses 5 & 6 God promises me and you that if you
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths."
The end of this path is eternity.
Your soul lives on in eternity.
Eternity where?
It won't be in heaven
just because you think it or say so
You won't be in charge.
That's God's house.
So, here on earth, as I live, I've made a decision,
God will be in charge of me, not me.
Of course, don't look too closely...
I don't always let Him.
So, with ALL of my heart (not my feelings)
I will trust in You to take care of me and guide me, dear Lord.
A committment.
At every bump, every turn, every moment,
despite my sinful nature,
I am committing to acknowledging you as my guide,
and letting everyone know that you get the glory.
Some kids actually tranfer to a different high school
to play a certain sport
because of the coach and his reputation.
Dear Lord,
Your reputation is spotless and holy.
I accept your offer.
Direct my paths!
You have a plan...I want to do it!
"Fear not, little flock;
for it is your Father's good pleasure
to give you to the kingdom." Luke 12:32
Shine your light right before my feet,
so I can focus on walking on your path.
I don't need to shuffle along with the crowd,
I can be by myself because YOU are with me.
I don't need to call up a friend before I call upon YOU
A good friend will only tell me what YOU have already said.
Some friends may misguide and distract me from what YOU want.
But...I sometimes need to be reminded by a friend
to stay on the path.
Yes, there will be hurt, pain, and fear,
but life's problems are supposed to hurt, be painful and fearful,
(thank you Rose for that reminder),
I need to let your Word and Presence...
comfort...
heal...
and calm me.
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea...Psalm 46:1,2
(Like what just happened in Japan? That looked scary Lord. Horrible.)
Trust in the Lord and do good;
so shalt thou dwell in the land,
and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the Lord;
and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord;
trust also in him;
and he shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:3-5
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