Thursday, February 09, 2012

The Police Blotter: Cabin Fever is setting in...

It's been a while since I've exposed you to the dangers of living here in my county.
My apologies to those who thrive on these reports.
Biskit suggests reading a book to fill your time. 
Ha ha!  Just kidding...
you've probably read all of your books while waiting 
for the snow to melt and the 4H livestock pre-shows to begin.
Of course, you do have some company...
some folks here are bored enough to...
well, let's just see who called the police recently: 


A man reportedly requested help to catch a cat in his basement.  
Enough already!  The cat is sick of cuddling by the fire while you read a book!!


Some people ran out of books early on and only have those gardening catalogs that arrive this time of year...
A woman reported that a friend is thinking about trying to grow mushrooms.


Tired of reading the gardening catalogs...some have opened up the insulated curtains and found the world a scarier place...
A person reportedly was concerned about the general speeds of the cars in the area of his home.



A person reportedly heard banging noises from a garage.


And even when someone manages to get out and about for some fun...a few months of no mental or physical activity makes the world to seem like it is bigger and faster then remembered...
A Honda reportedly passed another vehicle on the highway at about 70 mph.


A man in a Jeep reported that he drove up a closed groomed trail and got stuck in the snow.




Biskit fell asleep...
this is a good example of a late afternoon winter day around here...
the overwhelming coziness of sitting by the fire...
with a book, a snack, and a sweet blankie...
which lulls you into a nice nappy nap.
But allowing visitors and guests into your home may not be such a great idea considering...
A woman on Water St. reported that a plumber who came to her place started an argument with her while working and told her to shut up or it would be bad for her. 


It also brings to light interesting hobbies some may have developed during their down time at home...all alone...for months.  While rock hunting is a craze around here...this is a new one to me...
A woman was looking for cigarette butts in a parking lot on Canyon Road.


Even Biskit found that one weird...
But, there is still ANOTHER warning to heed:  A letter to the editor of our local newspaper explains the distinct danger of walking the streets of our little town...


BEWARE of men singing valentines on February 14th!!


To the Editor:
I am writing this letter because I believe it is my civic duty to alert the residents of our community of a potential threat coming next week.  Valentine's Day is on Tuesday, Feb. 14 and it is rumored that a group calling themselves the Singing Hills Barbershop Chorus may be roaming the streets {It's a gang!! After years surrounded by counties infested with gangs, we have entered the 20th century at last and have our very own gang folks!!}. Dressed in mysterious costumes, they are easy to identify but they do not hesitate to inflict personal assaults known as "Singing Valentines" on member of the community using long-stemmed roses and songs. {roses and songs?  That sounds like code for spray paint and threats to me...just sayin'}


The group {Hello?  It's a GANG people!} disclaims all liability for their past actions stating that it has been the direct result of caring individuals forming contracts with the Singing Hills Barbershop Chorus  {They are hired guns!!  Chilling}.  There have never been any reports of injury and most prior victims have forgiven the perpetrators who have made such contracts.  For further information about this group's activities, contact Harry at home (xxx-xxxx). {call "Harry" for what? Protection?}


Folks, it's getting to be like Detroit or Chicago around here...I might have to think about locking my front door tonight!!  Please don't worry about me and my family though, if anyone tries to "roam" my country road...we are blessed to have Biskit--and tonight, Biskit WILL BE on patrol.  Whew!


A gang o' friends?
I gotta get a new puzzle out...
dis is gonna be fun!



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